Agism and dating
"Almost to the point where I felt like, well, they don't know what to do with me.
Butler defined "ageism" as a combination of three connected elements.
It's like, 'Oh, she's past her prime and she can't play a sex symbol.' It's just a preconceived notion about women in general and particularly in this industry. The 23-year-old is herself a sex symbol, currently steaming up the screen in Woody Allen's latest film, Vicky Cristina Barcelona.
According to the rule, for example, a 30-year-old should be with a partner who is at least 22, while a 50-year-old’s dating partner must be at least 32 to not attract (presumed) social sanction. Does it match our scientific understanding of age-related preferences for dating? Researchers Buunk and colleagues (2000) asked men and women to identify the ages they would consider when evaluating someone for relationships of different levels of involvement.
People reported distinct age preferences for marriage; a serious relationship; falling in love; casual sex; and sexual fantasies. Based on the figures Buunk and colleagues (2000) provided (and thus the numbers are only informed approximations), I replotted their data superimposing the max and min age ranges defined by the half-your-age-plus-7 rule.
Years ago, when I told a social work colleague that I was writing a book on romantic love in later life, he replied, “You’d better use a pseudonym!
” He was serious, and he was not alone in feeling this topic was somehow inappropriate.Fortunately, the researchers identified one factor that shows promise in at least partially softening the “social stress” of IGA: mattering.